Thursday, May 27, 2010

Reflections on Kindergarten (and us)

Kindergarten ended today. This school year has so many ups and downs. If someone would have told me a year ago that kindergarten would be so hard, I wouldn't have believed them. On one hand, it's very sad to see this year end. Austin will be going into 1st grade, a grade with a number. Never again will he be in a letter grade or a cute class name like Ladybug or Butterfly. On the other hand, thank GOD this year has ended.

This time last year Austin was ready to go to kindergarten. He was excited and asked me every day when it would start and when he could ride the bus. We had such high hopes for Austin's kindergarten year. We knew he'd impress everyone with his brilliance and just knew he'd make friends easily.

Starting kindergarten was rough to say the least. Almost immediately, Austin started having problems. At first, it was just the transition from a familiar place with familiar faces to a place where he didn't know anything or anyone. Of course there would be a period of transition, of him learning the ropes. We knew that. But things didn't get better, after one week, two weeks, three weeks. Within the first week, Austin was sent to the principal's office, timeout, the counselor, and the teacher was calling us. We were having conferences and felt that we were having to defend Austin (and ourselves) against the school. They weren't challenging him enough, we said, which was true at the time. Austin's a very smart kid and retains a lot of information. If the teacher was giving him a circle to color, he'd have none of this. He enjoys reading encyclopedias at home and books about weather. Plus, he's already colored a circle in preschool.

And, our request wasn't granted when we asked for a teacher who would be firm with Austin. We got a 20-something, cute blonde and very sweet teacher. Maybe this was the issue. Had he been placed in another class, we wouldn't have these problems.

We were convinced that this wasn't the real Austin they were seeing. Austin's a kind, thoughtful kid. There was no way that he'd spit on someone or squirt ketchup in their face or throw rocks at someone or punch someone. Just no way. There were timeouts daily, spankings, privileges taken away, and Austin didn't seem to care. The next day at school it was the same old story. A phone call from the school saying Austin had done this or said that. Now, Austin was marked as the kid that would misbehave, be sent to the principal's office, be written up for something so minor that back in the day a teacher would handle themselves in the classroom.

By October, we finally talked to the pediatrician who referred us to a psychologist. We, along with the teacher, filled out questionnaires about Austin. No surprise that the answers were totally different. The psychologist went to the school and observed Austin and his interactions with his peers and his teacher. At that point, he hadn't made many friends because of his behavior; he'd make other kids uncomfortable with the way he'd play.

We knew ADHD would be the diagnosis before it was even said. We've denied it for a long time but I think we've known all along. From the time that Austin was a toddler, he was so much more active than other toddlers. He'd never sit down long enough to color or paint. The longest he'd sit still was to read a book. He'd get frustrated very easily at not being able to complete a fairly simple task and would get distracted and wander around. He was impulsive, never linking actions with consequences. We'd always review the rules and he'd repeat them but then break one immediately.

After meds were started, we saw changes at school. We started a behavior plan with the school and in combination with the meds, everything was rocking along. Christmas break came and went and with the starting of school started the behaviors all over again. The teacher even asked if we'd changed or discontinued his meds and we hadn't. At Austin's 6 year check up, we talked to the pediatrician again and increased his meds. When we saw how Austin reacted, we backed down and started seeing the psychologist again.

We came to realize that we had to change ourselves and our reactions to Austin and his behavior in order for him to change and feel good about himself. So, we started changing things at home. And changing his diet. It couldn't hurt, right? Changing his diet and our discipline has made Austin happier and our home happier. Who would have thought that cutting out artificial colors and changing to organic produce would make that much of a difference!

The end of the year has been far better than the beginning. Hindsight being what it is, Austin's teacher was exactly what he needed to make the transition to elementary school. She was creative and loving and patient. She taught him a lot about shapes and reading and math which he loves. Austin is already missing her.

We've learned a lot about our Austin and ourselves and our family. We just expected things to go perfectly because that's just how it's supposed to go, right? There were many things that went wrong this year. But there was a lot that was right about this year. Austin has gotten the help that he needs to be successful in school. We have learned how to be better parents, the kind that Austin needs. Austin made some new friends. Austin had his first girlfriend and his first crush. Austin learned how to read. Austin learned how to do simple math. Austin learned about cones and cylinders and prisms. And Austin had a great time at school. Sure, things weren't exactly as we expected. But things turned out exactly as they should.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

2 for real loose teeth

I've been waiting on Austin's two bottom middle teeth to start wiggling for a while. Austin always cut his teeth on time (according to the books) and I knew he'd start loosing them on time too. Tonight, Austin said his tooth hurt and I asked him which one. He pointed to the bottom middle tooth and I pushed my finger against it. It wiggled! And it wasn't only one; it was two! We totally weren't prepared for the first lost tooth so it's nice to know that we'll have a little while before these fall out on their own. But he will be going to the dentist next week for his 6 month cleaning so we'll see what Dr. Mike has to say.

Austin was thrilled though to think that he has loose teeth. I, on the other hand, am not so thrilled. Yet another symbol of his growing up. And the thought of pulling a tooth terrifies me. I don't know if I'll be able to do it like my Mom did back in the day. Austin may be making a trip to Nonna's house to get teeth pulled!

Friday, May 21, 2010

Where did the moon go?

Every day Gene and I are amazed at how many words Andrew knows. And how he puts words together to form sentences. Today, on the way home, the moon was in the sky. Andrew said "Mommy, moon in air!" I said "Yes, it is the moon." When we'd go around a curve or turn, the moon would go behind us. Andrew said "Mommy, where'd moon go?" Then when the moon would come back where he could see it, he'd say "There moon is!"

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

2 year check up

Andrew had his 2 year check up today. Luckily, no shots! Hooray! Andrew weighed almost 30 pounds and was around 36 inches tall. I reason I say "almost" and "around" is because he jumped up and down on the scale and wouldn't hold still. And when they tried to get him to stand with his heels and back against the wall to get his height, he kept turning around to see what the nurse was doing.

Andrew's in the 90th percentile for height and 75th percentile for weight. He has 3 skin issues. He's got eczema which he's always had. He also has folliculitis (a skin infection) and mollescum (a viral infection). We got a cream for the folliculitis but the mollescum will take 12-18 months to get over.

Overall, a good report from Dr. Hamm. Andrew impressed him with his behavioral development and his speech. He's such a smart little boy!

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Steel band at DVES

Gene took UAB's steel band to Deer Valley. They played two "concerts," one for K-2nd grade and one for 3rd-5th grade. The kids had a blast! And Gene said that they were the loudest crowd they've ever had for a performance.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Party #2

Andrew's 2nd party was mostly with family. Everyone had a good time and enjoyed the new backyard! Thanks everyone for coming and celebrating with us!

Silly Papa and Uncle Dog

Friday, May 14, 2010

Birthday parties

There is another child in Andrew's class that was born on May 13th and one that was born on May 14th. The other mothers and I decided to have a joint birthday party instead of 3 separate ones. It worked out great! And the kids had a good time too. They all managed to keep their party hats on which was so surprising. Of course, Austin had to come to the party too!
Patiently waiting for the party to start
Smiling for the camera

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Andrew is 2!

Andrew is two years old today! I can hardly believe that he's a toddler and not a baby anymore. You are such a sweet and smart boy. You love to read books and you're favorites are Knuffle Bunny, My World, and Goodnight Moon. You've also discovered Cookie Monster and love to pretend to eat cookies like him!

You're favorite shows are Yo Gabba Gabba and the Backyardigans. You're favorite characters are Pablo and Tyrone, but you call Tyrone Tatoo. You dance to the songs they sing and even know some of the words to the songs and sing them yourself!

You love to go outside and play. You love balls, soccer balls mostly. You throw them up in the air and kick them around. You like your lawnmower too and you cut the grass. And you love to swing and do the see saw.

You love your brother, Austin, and want to do everything he does. This is a good and a bad thing. It makes Mommy and Daddy so happy to see how loving you boys are together. But you two get into trouble too. For the most part, you get along well, unless there's something you both want to play with at the same time.

You can count to 13 and you know colors and some letters! I'm amazed at how smart you are! You speak in sentences and you tell Mommy and Daddy what you want with your words.
May 13, 2008
6 Months Old
May 13, 2009 (1 year old)
18 Months Old
May 13, 2010 (2 years old)

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Kids in the country

About a month ago, the kids went to spend nights with Nonna and Papa. They had a great time! Austin went fishing with Papa and caught 3 fish!
Andrew "helped" Papa in the garden!

"New" backyard

When we moved into our house a few years ago, we knew something had to be done with the backyard. It was definitely more kid friendly than our old one, but wasn't all that great. And we knew that it was something we couldn't tackle on our own. We wanted to flatten out more area and lay some sod too. And with 2 kids underfoot it's not always easy to get things done.

The work was finished on Friday afternoon and we've gotten good use out of it so far. The other kids on the street have been over to play too and everyone seems to enjoy it. A few weeks ago the kids had a great idea to dig a big hole...right next to the house. So, we made a spot for them to dig.



Saturday, May 8, 2010

Artificial colors

Austin's had some other behavior issues at school in recent months, really since being back at school from Christmas break. Every week or two we'd get a note home saying that he spit in another child's face or that he threw an ESL (translation...English as a Second Language) child's shoe in the sewer. I think that having the extended break and change in routine probably caused a lot of the problems and it's just taken a while to get back on track.

In my desperation to find something that will help change his behavior (and our reaction towards the undesirable behavior), I've been doing a lot of reading online and trying to find some solutions for us. Austin was diagnosed with ADHD in the fall and we started meds then. The dosage is very low and increasing it made him dazed and in a zone so we went back to the lower dose.

So, I wanted to find other things to try that didn't involve increasing meds. There are behavior modifications that we're doing at home. I read A LOT about artificial colors and how those may affect kid's behavior particularly those with ADHD. Some of the side affects of artificial colors could be hyperactivity and impulsivity which is what Austin has. We were willing to try anything to help him and this seemed pretty easy to cut out of our house.

I started looking at things in the pantry and refrigerator just out of curiosity to see what has artificial coloring and I was surprised. Of course, the usual things had artificial colors...Lucky Charms, Fruit Loops, fruit snacks, M&Ms. But, crescent rolls???? Why would crescent rolls have yellow in it? Aren't they just dough? Another thing was the yogurt that we used every day to administer Austin's meds. It was Yoplait strawberry yogurt and it had Red Dye 40.

It just so happened that the week I decided to cut all this out was a wonderful shopping week at Publix. They had a ton of organic products on sale that week with coupon match ups. I went by myself (no kids) so I could really focus on reading ingredients. I bought boxes of Cascadian Farm Cinnamon Crunch cereal for $1.99 per box. I didn't buy much because I wasn't sure how Austin would like it; you just never know with 1) kids and 2) organic stuff. Would it taste like cardboard? I was so surprised! Austin loved it so much that I went back to the store and stocked up while it was on sale. I also bought their fruity Os cereal which is like the Fruity Cheerios without the artificial colors.


Danimails Crush Cups also are artificial color free. Austin loves these so this was a perfect thing to stock up on. Publix also had these on special and I had a coupon which was a bonus. He loves to snack on these in the afternoon when he gets home from school. And it's good for him!

Another thing I had NEVER thought about was toothpaste. Kids toothpaste has all sorts of artificial coloring. Blue, red, yellow...you name it, the toothpaste has it. I know it's supposed to make brushing more fun for the kids, but if you could make it without all of the color and it still be effective, why wouldn't you, Crest? I bought Tom's of Maine toothpaste at Target. I didn't know if Austin would actually like this toothpaste so I only bought one tube. Austin loved it! It was a little more expensive than regular toothpaste, but well worth it.
Overall, our efforts to cut out artificial colors hasn't been too bad. For the most part, the kids snack on fruit or crackers, things that don't have artificial colors anyway. Austin loves M&Ms, Popsicles and a Two Ball Screwball ice cream cone from the ice cream man. We allow Austin a few "treats" a week but nothing in excess.
Austin's had 2 GREAT weeks at school (we removed most artificial colors two weeks ago). I don't want to give too much credit to cutting out artificial colors as the reason for the great weeks. We've done other things at home too and this was just a part of it. But, with great behavior coinciding with us cutting these things out, it makes you wonder. Did these things really make him more impulsive, more hyper? Either way, we'll take 2 great weeks at school and home no matter how it happened. Way to go AUSTIN!

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